Thursday, March 5, 2009

"Trust yourself, then you will know how to live." Goethe

I just returned from a wonderful vacation in Costa Rica. I traveled with my husband of 4 friends . No one had cell phone or watch! For 16 days I allowed myself time to just be, with no concept of time or "shoulds" that occupy my daily thoughts. Without any concept of time I found myself more present in my experiences. Some days I would wake at the crack of dawn by the loud sounds of the rain forest and other days I would sleep soundly into the early afternoon soothed and lulled into a deep sleep by the same loud rain forest birds and rain.
At my last Yoga Teacher Training at Yoga North we were given the homework assignment of being the observer of our life rather than the doer. The timing was perfect! With no other obligations other than watching myself create my reality I was able to grow the awareness of my True Self that lies within. One foundation of Yogic thought is Satya or Truthfullness. In Deborah Adele's book The Yama's and Niyama's, Exploring Yoga's Ethical Practice she explains that when we silence and distort ourselves, we begin to lose our lust for life and look for other things to fulfill us. That by living the life that cries to be lived from the depth of our being frees up a lot of energy and vitality. Suppressing our True Self and that life takes a lot of our life energy just in the managing of the pretending.
I think of my niece who can't help but start dancing and shaking when ever she hears a song with good groove. She's not concerned with what others will think or how she'll look, she just moves freely and happily. She's only two years old, and I think how wonderful it would be if we all stayed in touch with our Self like her.
I got very curios on this trip of what would happen if I just let my true essence loose, rather than trying to mold it into something I've been taught "should" be. What I found is that I'm really good at molding myself and letting my True Self shine through takes a lot of observation. I also found that when I would allow my Self to shine I was free of a lot of second guessing and discontent which allowed more time for enjoyment and content.
"Trust yourself, then you will know how to live." Goethe. I've always like this quote but never really understood it's depth until I started allowing myself to trust myself.
I encourage you to play with this idea for the next week. Every time you hear yourself say "should" or someone says it to you, take pause to contemplate and observe. It's pretty fun!